This is Bolivia:

Today, to get to the internet, I had to take a taxi trufi (another word for ¨public transportation¨)... And I sat next to a sweet, little, old Quechuan woman. When I sat down, I noticed that she had a big sack on her left side... And for some ungodly reason she decided to move it to her right side (the side I happened to be sitting on).
When she did, I realized that it was really warm... And moving... And making noise... OH MY GOODNESS!!!! What do you do when you have a big sack of warmness on your feet? And when you realize that that big sack has a bunch of tiny feet in it? And those tiny feet belong to guinea pigs that this sweet, little, old Quechuan woman is about to sell to be EATEN in the market?
Let me tell you what I did: Had a panic attack. And almost jumped out of the window. It was good times...
This is Bolivia.
Next week at this time I will be in the States. That´s crazy to think about. God has taught me so much during this time. Thanks for reading! My next blog will be in the States! See you soon!

Anna Marie

Monday I met a girl who won a piece of my heart. Her name is Anna Marie. She is four years old, has short black hair, and is WILD. She´s one of those kids that as soon as you meet her you fall in love. She´s smart and funny and talented. Yes, a four-year-old can be all of those things. Anna also has HIV.

When I found that out, a TON of past feelings came back to me. It was overwhelming... Truly overwhelming. I was reminded of the incredible people in Swaziland that I met. The ones that 9/10 of them have HIV--and probably aren´t being treated for it. I remembered the adults that I met that probably aren´t alive anymore. The people that when I met them I knew I would be a full-time foreign missionary. And with all of those feelings, I realized that after three years... I still hadn´t given those people to God. I still hadn´t acknowledged that God, who created and loves those Swazi people perfectly, was in control of their lives. So, this week for the first time, I surrendered them.

Then... I continued to think...

What is love? What does it do?

Elisabeth Elliot said that ¨love always means sacrifice.¨ I learned that to be true. It isn´t always a total massacring of your heart, like my love for Swaz, but it is necessary. You can see that epitomized in the perfect love: Jesus on the cross. She also said to ¨accept thankfully all things that God´s love has appointed.¨ That´s what love does... And that´s what I´m learning to do by the grace of God.

Grace and peace,
Margaret

I am like Mephibosheth.

One day King David decided to honor his best friend Jonathon by showing kindness to someone in his family. To do that, he sent out for a man named Mephibosheth (Jonathon´s son). When Mephibosheth was brought to the throne of David, David realized that he was crippled in both his feet. And despite his very visible flaw, he is still told that his land will be restored to him and that he will always have a place at the table of David.

As I´m writing this, my feet are battered and bruised. The air here is so dry that my feet are at the beginning stages of cracking, while playig volleyball with the CED students in Chacos (bad idea) I slid (purposefully) on the concrete (making it another bad idea) and sliced ope the tops of both of my feet, and while playing soccer with the kids from the prison I managed to cause my big toe to swell and bruise pretty badly... I feel physically crippled in both of my feet.

But, God has brought me to His table to eat with him. He calls me despite my lameness (not just physically, but spiritually). And He does that not only because He is abundant in love, but because of who my Father is. That´s cool...

Is. 52:7- ¨How beautiful on the (Andes) mountains are the feet of those who bring the good news...¨
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This week was FANTASTIC with the chilren from the jail. The first day was a little rocky with them (because they´re kids... and it was their first day of camp), but after that we were respected as their ¨tias.¨ We are forming good relationships with the children there and the adults who supervise/teach them. I´m learning so much from them, and I think they´re learning, at least a little, from me. Thanks for your prayers!

Grace and peace,
Margaret

La Casa de Amistad

The Friendship House is located next to three prisons. The Men´s, the Women´s, and the Maximum Security Men´s. It´s in an area where I have been explicitly told multiple times not to EVER go alone. I´ve been going with the team on a pretty regular basis. What is it? It is a school for the children of the people in jail. It is a safe place where the kids who live (yes, live) in the prison with their parents go to learn.

Wednesday I re-visited. I go in the mornings, so I always see the same kids and I´ve formed pretty good relationships with them. Because the kids are on break, though, there was a surplus of new faces (yes, at this school children enjoy going to school so much that they go during break! AH!)... My new Canadian friend, Megan, and I took a group of the kids to a futbol pitch down the road. In order to get to there, though, we had to cross a major road with a major intersection and a coliseum. You´ll be surprised to hear that it wasn´t the road or intersection the kids were worried about, but the coliseum... The kids who we were with--the kids who walk that way everyday ALONE-- told us about the men we were passing by. They were robbers and rapists and who knows what else (actually, the kids know... But, with my limited Spanish I only caught those two things). We passed those types of people in order to get to a play area, and that isn´t uncommon for these beautiful, little children. My heart breaks when I think about that...

Right now we are preparing for a camp for the kids of La Casa de Amistad. They are coming to the place where we live and staying with us for three nights. We´re going to tell these amazing kids about a Father who loves them and we´re going to share that love with them. 24-7.

Please partner with us in prayer over this next week. It is going to be an amazing time of getting to know these kids and of just being there for them in any way that we can.

Grace and peace,
Margaret

Surrendering... Again.

This past week we had a group from Georgia come to be with us. To create team unity and ¨start our day off ´right´¨ we had morning devotionals. Yesterday´s was about Jonah and how despite his running away from the call God had given him, God sought him out and used him. Although in a different way than Jonah, I have been ¨running away¨from a problem that I have had for the past few years now. That problem was that I couldn´t get past my past.

When I was in high school I got really involved in a Southern Baptist church. That was around the same time that I felt my call to full-time foreign missions and took a step in that direction by going to Swaziland, Africa for one month. So, I was seeking the LORD and learning about new aspects of His character but as I was doing that and sharing it with other people I got shut down (to say the least). Things that I was finding to be true by revelation from the Word and by my own experience were either completely ignored or I was told that they were untrue. Because of that and other things, I was completely devastated and I hardened my heart towards that denomination. And up until now I never surrendered that over to God (which can be a problem if you go to a Southern Baptist university...).

Flash forward to this week: A bus load of Southern Baptists came to Bolivia that we were told to serve and be blessed by. We worked with them and helped them with their VBS-type activities and translated for them, and that entire time God was working in me to relinquish my past (and, to be really honest, I took it out on them). It actually took me until the last day with them before I surrendered my past hurt and anger to God--looking back on the week and the past few years, I wish I would have done that sooner.

Through the week I learned another valuable lesson: It would be really easy for me to say something like, ¨Well, those people that hurt me weren´t Christians.¨ But, I think they were. And it was good to be taught and challenged to see/understand that the Church is filled with people who fall short, but by the grace of God we have been made blameless (notice that that doesn´t mean ¨sinless¨). So, sometimes I´m gonig to be put down by people in the Church, but when that happens I need to immediately surrender that to God (and not wait a few years...).

Grace and peace,
Margaret

*Thanks for baring with me as I tell you about the things God is doing in me this summer. It is really good for me to be able to share this with you and to be encouraged by you.

*Keep in mind that this isn´t all that has been happening! We´ve seen healings and decisions made for Christ! We´ve been encouragers to Christians and non-Christians alike, and I´ve been amazed by the depth of Christ´s love for all people.

I love you guys.

God is Love.

In Luke 19 the Pharisees told Jesus to rebuke his disciples for praising God loudly for the miracles he had done and Jesus responded, Ïf they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.¨ God will be praised regardless of whether I do it or not, but I really am glad to be praising Him right now. The ¨theme¨ of this trip is ¨The easiest thing to do is nothing.¨ And, that´s what I´ve been learning this week.
This week a woman asked that 4 members of out team would go with her to the women´s prison here in Cochabamba. After praying about it I was given a word to speak to them, but I kind of ignored it... Until two others from my team came to me and told me that God had told them that I was to give the same message. So, I went... Here is part my journal entry from that day:

¨We went to the prison. Everyone that spoke spoke with authority and we embodied our ¨Team verse¨ Joshua 1:9: ¨Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with youwherever you go.¨ And when we did that, women from every background gathered to hear the Word. The Holy Spirit came and spoke through our mouths about His love and desire to reconcile us to Himself. Women were brought to tears.

At the end of out time there, a Bolivian woman named Anna came to me and spoke blessing into my life and prayed over me. In a time where I wasn´t necessarily sure if I had made the right decision to come to Bolivia, her sweet, Spanish words were exactly what I needed to hear.¨

God is doing absolutely incredible things in Bolivia--in and through me. I can honestly say now that by the grace of God today I am confident that He has brought me here for a purpose.

Grace and peace,
Margaret

*I got a haircut... In our kitchen. It was completely and totally necessary.
*I haven´t eaten guinea pig... YET.
*Thank you for your prayers. My spirit was really lifted this week and in large part because of your intercession on my behalf. I love you all and miss you.

Surrender

When I left behind my family and friends and comforts and food (:)), I didn't really understand what that meant until I got to Atlanta and I realized that I wasn't going to be able to call my mom or Skype my friends or hug one of the kids at the park. And when I came to that realization I wish I could say that I immediately relinquished my control of those things. I wish I could say that I said "Lord, I choose youabove my comforts and my family." However, I just really did not do that. So, I've struggled the past few days with leaving those things behind until yesterday morning God spoke to me and told me two pretty significant things: 1) I can't find my identity and comfort in other people--only in Him and 2) if I surrender thoise things over to Him He will do exceedingly abundant things in my life, in my relationships with my teammates, and in the lives of the people of Bolivia. So today I am leaving from Atlanta for Bolivia believing that God is going to provide for us and the nation of Bolivia in part because of that surrender.
Please pray for me as I stuggle through that--that I would be more willing to surrender.

*Sidenote: I'm going to be updating once/week and so is my team!!! There is a team blog that you can read at bolivia.adventures.com. And, pictures are to come. :-)

I love you guys!
Grace and peace,
Margaret

I am in Need

Yesterday I was flipping through my Bible trying to find a passage to read (I'm in between book/chapter readings, so I've been doing that for the past few days), and I came across Psalm 147. I got as far as verse 3 before I got really emotional and had to stop and really think about what I was reading:

"The LORD builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the exiles of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

... I found that really encouraging. God doesn't necessarily call the rich or perfect or secure to Him, but He calls the poor and broken and destitute...

He calls me.

I'm going to Bolivia in three days. My life is chaotic and messy. I'm broken and in need. Yet, for some (I'm sure) incredibly awesome reason, He wants to use me to do great things for His kingdom. He wants to use me, someone absolutely ridiculous, to bring Him glory--and I think that that is beautiful. In three days I'm leaving for Bolivia to be a part of the lives of some really beautiful people this summer. And I'm going with the belief that God is going to use me there and refine me in the process.

This is the city I'll be in. It is home to the largest statue of Jesus in the world (33 ft high--1 ft for each year of His life).

Thank you for reading this, and for partnering with me in prayer.

Grace and peace,

Margaret

Heifer Ranch

This past week was not an easy one for me. It was filled with lessons of power and weakness, wealth and poverty. It all started with a trip to Heifer International in Perryville, AR.

Our school group of fifteen arrived at the Heifer Ranch on May 5th with all of our modern conveniences and unjust stereotypes in hand and in mind. The next day, May 6th, our electronics and other "must-haves" were stripped away from us and we were left with one another and a sleeping bag (we had more than that, but I'm being dramatic). For me, at least, coping with the loss of material things was not so big a problem as my realizing that I have formed prejudices against a certain group of people.

For a long time, I have lumped people who are "intolerant" into one group. I have given them a name--the "oppressor"--and a description--(mainly) white, (primarily) male, lower-middle class, with a strong Southern accent. Before I really even talk to them I put them in a box. I label them "racists," "gay-bashers," and "chauvenists." But before last week, I didn't notice the difference in my attitude towards them... Not until one of "them" pointed it out. In this case, I had labeled him as hating impoverished people; and, honestly, he probably did not like them too much. He made comments like, "If they don't work, they don't deserve to eat" and "If you live in poverty, then you will be happy in it because you know nothing else." However, that was not an excuse... And, I know that. Basically, in my desire for us to be equal, for people to love one another regardless of their sin habits or prejudices or whatever, I made the oppressor the oppressed. I took on the role of the oppressor. While I didn't beat him or hinder him from becoming a better person, I did not love him with the love of Christ.

Right now I am trying to figure out how to love people equally regardless of everything, including their worldview (and Southern drawl).

The Recovering Despot,

Margaret

State Street

I live in Clinton, MS. For those of you who are familiar with Mississippi geography, you know that it is West of the capital, Jackson; for those of you who are not--well, now you know. After many frustrating years of living near Jackson, I have come to love and appreciate it. The history here is unprecedented and the people are extraordinary. I've been thinking up crazy and irrational plans to get me living there, and I'll tell you why...

In Jackson there is something I like to call the "State Street divide." It is a barrier between the West side of Jackson (the "Black" side) and the East side (the "White" side). For me, it stands as a very physical reminder of the South's history of hatred and oppression, prejudice and ignorance. I look down that street with beat-up houses on the West and newly-renovated ones on the East, and a part of me gets really angry. I think, "Why have we allowed this to happen? Why hasn't this changed?" And another part of me sees the really great things happening on the West side--churches being planted with the intention of being multi-racial and cross-socioeconomic, the "checker-boarding" of the neighborhoods, and the shining faces of kids as we play games and tell them about the love Christ (and we) have for them at a park we hang out at on Wednesday afternoons near my church.

Then, I remember the verses in Ephesians 2 (:11-22, if you are curious) that talks about how Christ in His death on the cross reconciled Jews and Gentiles and made them one. And I think how possible it is for God, who can reconcile a holy people with a heathen people, to bring together people with different skin tones. In verse 14 it says, "For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility." So today I am praying for that physical State Street barrier to be destroyed, and rejoicing that He has already provided.

Grace and Peace,

Margaret